Chris: I think that Nop's statement was regarding someone who was actively involved in an affair. It sounds like you did the right thing and cut off all contact with the OW. You're awfully hard on yourself sometimes. Cut yourself some slack and relax.
Your W may hold the EA+ against you forever. That's her decision to make. You, of course, don't have to live with that potential forever . . . you could cut and run. But it sounds like you two need to do some serious talking and work together on making your M a better place before it would be a fully-informed choice to leave. It may end up better than ever. Stranger things have happened.
