Why do you think your wife would rather be with another man?
I have no idea why, and I don't know if she'd be happier with that arrangement or not. I was just writing hypothetically. My logic is probably all off. I was just thinking that some type of radical change would be good. Silly me I s'pose.
Quote: Do you distinguish between f'ing and ML? Would a nother guy f'ing your wife be a punishment to her?
No... I guess I should, but I don't. Right now, it's just an interchangeable label to me. Any guy who was f'ing/ML to my W would have to be by her choice and consentual. If she only wants me, then great... no other guy needed. I haven't asked her her thoughts on this because I'm scared to find out the answers.
Quote: In your opinion do you f. your wife or climb into her soul and meld with warm climax?
Uhhh... it's definitely more than just physical. I like the warm fuzzies.
Try something then. Try to think more in the ML view. The holding-carressing-snuggling-foreplay-teasing-tantalizing and then penetration.
From experience the "getting off f'ing" is something akin to turning your wife into a heated love doll and expecting her to enjoy the disipline. The other can have "pure sex, animalistic" moments too. But make sure she feels like she's more than a virgina or a comfortable place to MB in.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Heh... funny thing is, I can take FOREVER just holding-carressing-snuggling-foreplay-teasing-tantalizing... and my W will decide that she's had enough, grab my shoulder, and pull me on top of her for penetration. I guess we need to work on it still. Practice practice practice.
Sorry that wasn't my intention. I answered a few of your posts and then a few others responded to me. I guess I don't know the rules, I'm pretty new around here. I wish you the best.
Hehe... yeah, it's usually a "NOW" type of thing. The thing is, what if I wanna play some more? I need to work on frequency so NOW is more NOW than later.
Well it's nearing the end of the year, and I've waited patiently for my W to decide that she wants to stop living in depression. I've offered to help her enjoy sex more. I've offered to make MC appointments for us. I've suggested that she see a personal C "just to talk" about things that she can't talk with me about. I've been supportive of her switching from one SSRI antidepressant to another, just to "find the right one" for her. I've kept doing all of the chores/tasks that I usually do around the house, even though I might have wanted to let things fall to sh*t. I can't repeat another year like this one without questioning my own mental sanity.
What to do? Talk. Communicate. Give W ultimatums and time frames for her to improve her attitude with appropriate consequences attached. Pull the roots and hope the weed dies.
that wasn't my intention. I answered a few of your posts and then a few others responded to me. I guess I don't know the rules, I'm pretty new around here. I wish you the best. 
I need to work on frequency so NOW is more NOW than later.