I haven't been lurking here that long. I read many of your posts from time to time. You have a strong opinion on something and that's okay. My original thread is in the NewComers forum and I posted it below. My H insists he didn't have an A. I think it was an EA for sure, not sure about the PA. My H is remorseful and has apologized many times. He realizes the damage done to our kids and me. He pretty much did the night we came home from our family vacation in July. I did my fair share of snooping including hiring a PI to research OW's phone calls. They stopped contact and I feel in my heart that she is gone. I didn't feel this way in September. What I am left with is the ill feeling about my H's memories of her, how deep they are, and how long they will last. As for the wedding ring, he took it off when I told him I wanted a D in May. In many ways I started this. Even though A's are not right, what I did wasn't right either. I sent him thinking that this is it, I am leaving him, there's nothing more he could do (In his mind he tried). I can tell you that I had EA's throughout our marriage. I never acknowledged them as such and didn't realize an A is any passionate attraction that takes you away from your S or family. That's means we can have A's with our jobs, cars, hobbies, etc.... My H is human first. He was lured in by an attractive young girl who spent everyday at our house. They became friends and then something else. She knew he was down, weak, lonely, and feeling like s@#t!. He gave into it and I understand now. My MC calls A's Euphoria. There's no complaints, no nagging, no responsibility, ...In essence it's fairytale land. My H hurt me but I hurt him too. Once I made a decision to forgive him, and the decision to stay and work on our M, I freed up a lot of saddness that was in my heart. I'm not going to tell you that everything is perfect. I still have trust issues and my eyebrow still goes up once in a while. But for now, my H is doing a good job at proving to me that he is sincere. I have taken some of the responsibility for my own happiness too. I've learned that I have to think positively because when I think negatively in does me no good and gets me in trouble.
