i'm at work, and this is an old machine, can't figure out how to quote here, so just bear with me
You say you feel that anything you do won't be enough. I agree, it won't. I went through years of feeling that if I could only find the magic formula, if I lost x lbs, or kept the house so clean, if I did everything the way H wanted me to, then things would be ok.
I made myself crazy. And miserable. I felt like I was running around for him, didn't have a life of my own, and wasn't getting any of my needs met. All I was doing was building up resentment, not helping the R. If you do things around the house, do them for you, or because you want to help W out. Why not write up a chore schedule, if she doesn't like it, ask her to comment and help ammend it? Tell her you feel like you're carrying more than your share of responsibility and you need help - if she won't, then you'll pay for it.
We need Jenny here to remind us not to exchange favors (or anything else) for sex. It doesn't work, and ends up making both parties miserable.
