I won't do things anymore just because W will like that I did them.

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Differentiating means to hold onto yourself and keep being the great person you are, despite what your spouse throws your way. It does NOT give one license to act like a jerk all in the name of "marriage repair".

Now who said I was gonna act like a jerk? I probably should have worded that as, "I won't do anything additional just because W will like that I did it." I'll still be Super-Me. I'll still give her her coffee in the morning and get her the low-fat Silhouettes Chocolate-Peanut Butter ice cream flying saucer & coffee at night... still make dinner on Mondays & Tuesdays... still get the chinese food on Fridays... keep doing her laundry when she asks... etc. etc. I hope she doesn't want more 'cause I'm about out of gas.

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IS your goal a loving R with your wife, or just more sanity for yourself?

Egad, you mean they're mutually exclusive? Pigs balls! I know the sanity thing is tough with D6 and D2 around, but I'm not giving up on that just because I need some lovin' R.

All kidding aside, I hope that my W wants to work on things for her own good. I don't know how she could be happy with the current state of things between us, but she's not sayin' much to indicate that she's unhappy. This is why I'm thinking MLC - a certain level of denial exists, and she seems not to be aware of it. That's just my opinion, I could be wrong.


- Chris.