I think you finally got it!!! See if you start doing things for yourself, self-validating if-you-will, that's going to eventually make your W take notice. You've just started the ball of change rolling!!!!
Oh, and by the way...if you approach your W about something and it pisses her off so-be-it. You've said what you need to. Keep the communication clear...and if she gets pissed off do your best not to let her anger rub off on you. I find that the calmer I remain during an argument with my LDH the more #1 he takes me seriously, & #2 he hears me.
