I was going to post on Is it even possible to motivate a LD women? but I didn't want to hijack, nor do I know if my comments are welcome anymore. So, here's another of my own threads.
I am a lot like a "current" CeMar and GreenEyedLass... and a lot like a "former" honeypot. I have a SSM since D3 was born. I do a ton of things at home (all the laundry, most of the food buying, all of the finances, all of the house maintenance, most of the clean-up). W and I both work fulltime. Both of our sets of parents are still married (1st marriages of 38+ years). Weekends are divided between both sets of parents, with Saturday going to my inlaws and Sunday to my parents/grandma. I get the feeling that my W thinks she can't do more in life... and I suspect that she's in the middle of a MLC. And so it goes.
For me, finding a way to approach my W about things without pissing her off is Job #1, and it's most difficult. When I start a serious discussion, my W gets very quiet at the beginning... and I know what her first thoughts are most of the time: "oh great, here we go again... and it's always about HIM and what HE needs!" How do I prevent this? I can't. I just have to continue regardless. At this point, I feel I have nothing to lose.
Sex with W is twice a month at most, and these days, I'm just letting W initiate when she feels like it. I tried a "sex twice a week" experiment during September, and it failed to really do much for me (besides making me feel like the last 2 times W gave me "mercy sex" to appease me). I'm finding ways to drown my sex drive because I know that that's not the #1 "thing" to work on. There are tons of other issues.
So, what am I left with? I'll tell ya. I'm left with improving myself and working on self-validation of my life. I won't do things anymore just because W will like that I did them. I won't keep quiet when I feel like I have something to say, even if it sounds mean or pissy. I won't go out of my way to appease the whims of my W like I used to. Avoidance got me where I am today, and I refuse to follow that path.
