Well, I printed our cell phone records to find out why our cell bill was $40 above normal. 1 1/2 pages of calls to OM! The latest on March 29.
What bothers me most is not that she's talking to OM, but that she has professed her committment to eliminate him from her life, and has thrown away soaps and lotions and other gifts he purchased for her, or that remind her of him.
I'm feeling like W's change of heart and recent improvements are all just smoke to keep me off her back. I know I can't confront W, but I also can't just live with this knowledge and continue to have positive feelings toward W. Sunday night W left a CD of copied music out. I did not recognize the style or brand of CD, and asked W where she got it. W initially got very upset and avoided answering, saying she's had it for a long time. Eventually W admitted OM from 1st A made it for her. This made for a bad evening, even though I did my best to back off - W kept pursuing the issue. The next day W called me at work and said she was throwing the CD away. After a short, pleasant conversation about W purging everything from her past, I explained that I had needs too. W said like what, and I said, "like you not talking to OM anymore." W got real quiet, but agreed.
Now I have positive proof that she is still talking with OM.
W is making dramatic progress in acceptance and forgiveness, I don't want to destroy that progress, but am going nuts keeping this to myself. It's like every doubt I had about W's activities has been validated. Did she really go out with the "girls" until 11:30 last night? Even though I know one of the women she was with, do I believe her? Did she really just go to AutoValue to have the truck looked at? Is the reason she has to just "get out of the house" sometimes because she's given up trying to make up excuses to see OM?
I'm teetering on the brink of trust, and filing for D myself - I have to be careful that my attitude when approaching W about her calling OM has as little impact on W's reaction as possible.
I'm thinking about just leaving the list where she can find it, or highlighting the calls to OM that are more than 1 minute. I may try to use a copy of the conflict resolution worksheet from our MC, but I'm not sure it will help, since I'm not sure how we both contribute to W calling OM, or how I can help with a possible solution.
