This morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, a lady on the Daily Buzz (TV Morning show) was singing a song about honoring the troops in Iraq, "The Bumber sticker on my SUV" or something like that. W immediately started touting her negative opinion about the war and the singer and I reacted by telling her to "shut-up". W left the room. (I really wanted to listen to the song, and couldn't hear over W).
Me telling W to "shut-up" is one of the things we agreed not to do, as soon as I did it I realized it was wrong. After the song I continued getting ready for work and eventually approached W and apologized, saying, "W, I'm sorry I told you to shut-up, I really wanted to...." W interrupts me and says,
"If you were serious about your apology you'd stop right there, and not justify your apology with an excuse."
I raised my voice, but otherwise calmly said, "I'm just trying to explain why I reacted the way I did, I understand you have your own feelings about the war, but at least I'm willing to listen to what other people have to say." I ended the conv by going upstairs.
When I came downstairs, W said, "I'm sorry I didn't listen to what you were trying to share with me."
I made some nice reply (I think it was nice - I don't remember what I said, but W's apology made me feel good), and left for work.
I needed to ask W a legit question and tried to call her, no answer. When I reached her later she said she was probably in the shower. The significance of W not answering the phone, or maybe not being at home, is last week I was looking for something in W's purse, and found a key to OM's place.
I didn't say anything, and it is entirely possible the key is left over from months ago, so I decided to act as if I didn't know she still had the key. I can't throw it away or ask her about it, 'cause then she'll think I'm snooping in her purse. It is also interesting that it is in the same pocket in her purse that she has her wedding ring in. (She actually put her wedding ring on for about 1/2 a day a month or so ago. We were going on a lunch date, and I said something that upset her and the very first thing she did was take it off.)
Anyway, W is reading a book recommended by her C, "Attachments" by Drs. Tim Clinton & Gary Sibcy, and has actually told me, "I think I may be treating you badly becase I'm really upset at my mother, and am feeling used by her."
I didn't pursue, or offer advise, and was honestly unable to contribute to the conv since I wasn't sure what she was talking about. So I'm reading the book before bed when she is taking her "alone" time downstairs so we can talk the same "attachments" language. I just need to be careful not to offer advice (one of my 180s).
