CeMar,

I feel for you , although from a HDW perspective. I am also looking for that one thing or many things that my LDH needs from me. I find myself looking at our marriage as something HE needs to work on and not me. After all I don't have the problems. Ah but alas in a marriage if one person has a problem you both have a problem.

I sometimes look at my H as the missing link? It doesnt compute with me how a guy?!! can be LD. But he is and we are and have been working on us for a long time.


I must say though that in my prior marriage I became VERY LD to the point of sleeping on the couch for last 6 years of M. Not LD in my own nature LD in that marriage. I was still very into sex....just had NO desire to have it with him. For a myriad of different reasons....one, being he had awful breath(yes, i did suggest and buy Many solutions), when he kissed me it was like kissing a St Bernard (drool drool drool) YUCKY!!!!! He would incessantly tell foul and off color jokes about me , the children etc..... he was a complete jerk (abusive) to his only son. He took NO pride in his appearance whatsoever....came home from work and left his smelly a$$ work clothes on (chemical smells), only showered in the ams. You get where I am going.

I am certainly not saying that you are any of these things , I am just suggesting that you look into your routine daily happenings and see if there is ANYTHING that just might be pushing her buttons the wrong way.

I am the first to agree with Dr. Laura's ideas however, they can and do apply to LDM too. My H controls our whole sexual encounter....because no matter how willing the Wife is if the Husband doesnt want it , it ain't happenin, no matter how much HDW pursues.