Seems to me you have a very defeatest attitude. Believe me, nothing will change if you truly feel that way, I know, I was like that for 15 years. If you really honestly want to make your marriage better you have to be willing to lay it on the line and back it up if they call your bluff. My marriage is not great, granted, but its better than it has been in the past 20 yrs. And yes, its hard work sometimes. Only you can decide if you really want to make it better.
Ok that does help a bit. I think I've suggested this before, but in case I didn't (and it was someone else I said this to)....focus on you. Do the things you mentioned...get fit (for you though), do the things (other than sex) that you enjoy and that make you feel good. Spend time with your kids...that one's just good on many levels.
But I do suggest you discontinue reading books that talk about the LD woman. In my mind that can only lead to frustration, resentment, anger etc. That's been my experience anyway. The more I read books....trying to "fix" my husband and his problem...the more frustrated & resentful I became. I really, honestly, had to let go of that resentment before we could begin to make progress...I had to stop trying to "fix" my husband. Now, men and women aren't that different in that aspect. If a man or a woman feels someone else is trying to "fix" them...they're going to dig in their heels.
No one likes their faults pointed out to them and letting someone know that your sex-life is less than adequate/satisfactory is pointing out a HUGE flaw. It's like telling a woman with a porcelain, flawless complexion that she's got a huge zit right on the end of her nose. You can see how to fix it...but she's afraid to touch it.
Try concentrating on other areas of your marriage. Now, I'm not saying I expect you to forget about sex, heck I can't do that either LOL. Work on communicating very clearly with her, hold on to your temper if she explodes at you...remaining calm has a much better affect in that situation than losing your top does.
I'd like to make another suggestion too. Pick up some books that help you...maybe books on communication. Not something so directed at sex, but more at relationships in general. You may find that by really backing off of the sex issue (at least visibly) she may begin to come towards you...instead of backing up.
I'm going to use an animal analogy here...cause it fits (I think). I used to train horses several years ago. When I'd have a green horse to train, one that was for all purposes wild. I couldn't expect to walk up to him with my shoulders all tensed up, stiff legged, and with a stern expression on my face. I would have to approach this animal relaxed, calm, quiet. If I did that the horse eventually would relax around me and walk up to me on his own. If I took the other approach he'd back up and I'd have to rope him...once the rope was around his neck he'd rear, back up, and fight like hell and I'd have twice the work on my hands as I would have had I taken the quiet calm approach.
I view fixing things in relationships in much the same manner. If I approach my H (or you your W) with resentment, anger, and frustration then I'm walking towards a horse that's going to fight me. If I take a calm, quiet aproach to my H, he's much more responsive. He listens to what I say, and hears much more of it than he would have otherwise...and in turn ends up eventually making progress with our problem, much like when the horse would walk to me on his own. When you take the time to concentrate on yourself, do things you enjoy and backoff of the problem you are taking the "quiet" approach to her. Does that make sense? It truly does work for me. It may not work for everyone...but it is for me.
I know the analogy is hoaky, forgive me for that...but I'm an animal person, it's easy for me to relate things in that manner.
I feel for you , although from a HDW perspective. I am also looking for that one thing or many things that my LDH needs from me. I find myself looking at our marriage as something HE needs to work on and not me. After all I don't have the problems. Ah but alas in a marriage if one person has a problem you both have a problem.
I sometimes look at my H as the missing link? It doesnt compute with me how a guy?!! can be LD. But he is and we are and have been working on us for a long time.
I must say though that in my prior marriage I became VERY LD to the point of sleeping on the couch for last 6 years of M. Not LD in my own nature LD in that marriage. I was still very into sex....just had NO desire to have it with him. For a myriad of different reasons....one, being he had awful breath(yes, i did suggest and buy Many solutions), when he kissed me it was like kissing a St Bernard (drool drool drool) YUCKY!!!!! He would incessantly tell foul and off color jokes about me , the children etc..... he was a complete jerk (abusive) to his only son. He took NO pride in his appearance whatsoever....came home from work and left his smelly a$$ work clothes on (chemical smells), only showered in the ams. You get where I am going.
I am certainly not saying that you are any of these things , I am just suggesting that you look into your routine daily happenings and see if there is ANYTHING that just might be pushing her buttons the wrong way.
I am the first to agree with Dr. Laura's ideas however, they can and do apply to LDM too. My H controls our whole sexual encounter....because no matter how willing the Wife is if the Husband doesnt want it , it ain't happenin, no matter how much HDW pursues.
HP confessed: The ONLY thing I did in our marital home was cook supper and I couldn't even do that. (he bought me a subscription to a cooking magazine that 1st year, lol) I did not clean anything, do any laundry, mow the lawn, etc. NOTHING. -----------------------------------
ONLY a LDH would care. You were having or willing to have sex multiple times every day!
I understand where CeMar is coming from, too. I have the same "I'm trapped and it will never be better" days as he has. But I have better days, too. I don't see him having any of those.
CeMar, you HAVE to stand up for yourself at some point. If you won't, then you have to take equal responsibility for your sitch. I understand your unwillingness to leave your kids, but you can make a stand for the future, just like HP did.
Good luck, buddy. I know how hard it is to feel unwanted.
I understand where you're coming from too, CeMar. I spent years there. Just look at my posts from six months ago. I said that I had tried everything, but the cold, hard fact was that my W just didn't like sex. Never had, didn't now, and never would. I even went so far as to suggest that W might be gay. I myself said that there's no way to compromise when one wants sex and the other just doesn't want any at all.
I was wrong - and so are you. I've worked really hard at changing myself, my attitudes, and my behaviors. And guess what? Where my previous record was three times in a year, we've ML 18 times in the past five months - on a pace for more than 12 times the old record. Is a little less than once a week what I want? Am I satisfied with that? Am I completely sexually fulfilled? No, no, and no. But it's MUCH better than it was and with my new attitudes, I really do appreciate W's efforts. I also look at the bright side: I may be getting laid only about once a week (when I would really like three or four times a week), but it's way better than once every six months. Our R is vastly better and W really is trying. I'm optimistic that things will continue to get better. It may never reach what I want, it probably won't, but I can be happy with the new R and the increase in our SL anyway.
So as others have said: get the chip off of your shoulder, quit blaming your W, and get to work.
GEL, it's funny you would bring up horses... did you see this article I posted on a thread entitled "Horse Training"? I see many parallels with people-relating.
It doesnt compute with me how a guy?!! can be LD. But he is and we are and have been working on us for a long time. 
