I know what it feels like to want your marriage to change and simply not know what it is within you that you can change that will help the situation.
That's why I've urged you before to really look objectively at your situation to see what it is that you think she thinks you could do better. Now...it's really hard to look at things from her perspective (I know that)...that's what makes that task soooo difficult.
When my H's therapist asked me to do that very same thing I thought "Hell! I don't know, I do everything I can! I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, I shop for groceries....I'm a great mother to our son, he's got sex anytime he wants it...what more can I do?!!! There's thousands of men who'd love a wife like me!"
That's when he said "of course you do all those things" but there's obviously something he needs...that he's not communicating to you...that perhaps he doesn't even realize he needs." See that's the key (with my LD) anyway...finding that need (what I call key need) no matter how silly it appears and doing your damndest to meet it....then give it time and see if their demeanor changes at all.
I don't know if you remember or not, but I posted quite some time back that I discovered my LDH really responds better to my making that extra effort to keep the house spotless...not just picked up....spotless. I didn't realize until I made that extra effort (that was the only thing I could think of that I could do better for him) that one of his needs of "feeling taken care of" was met by my making that extra effort.
Now he's not turned into a sexual dynamo....but he's much more open to communication now...he's becoming for affectionate...and we're actually having discussions about sex now that we'd never have had before.
So I repeat...is there ANYTHING you can think of that your wife thinks you could do better?
Really not trying to beat a dead horse here...just imparting something that's working for me in hopes it may work for you too
