I posted on my other thread before I read this one. The parallels are scary. Just two days ago, my W said, "You are studying sex too much." At the same time, she is loosening up in bed, though not all the way. I think that indeed, your W is thinking about sex, about you, about what she is doing and not doing to please you. All I can advise you is to look for openings. They may not be when you want them, or when you expect them.
My W rarely talks about "women's issues" but she lives them. She left Japan primarily because she did not like the way women are treated there. That takes some cojones (or whatever women have instead of cojones) and I respect her for it.
Someone said earlier that LD spouses are horny only when they want to be horny. We may be frustrated at the infrequency of that occurence, but it has to be that way. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way. We can, of course, encourage them. There are many things I dread doing, but enjoy doing once I get started (exercise is one of them). Find out what motivates you to do these things, and your LD spouses attitudes may make more sense.
