hairdog wrote about his W comments << she commented about how men need sex so much. "I know you feel that way, and I'd hate to be you >> <<"Why can't you just be happy with the way you are and the way I am?">> W has some understanding of your problems with the M but not willing to change. The way Mrs HD put it, HD needs to change to her way of thinking and be happy. W does not see the the "you be happy with the way I am" as THE PROBLEM. My opinion is a combination of lack of interest in sex, W's WOMENS ISSUES interests, 'she gave up things to move to where HD lives so HD has to give up something passive agressive(PA) payback).
Mrs HD <<"are you mad at me?">> HD, complete honesty on your part would have been to say "YES, but I do not want this to turn in to an argument right now. Could we brain storm this sometime latter like xx:xx time on xxx day?
HP wrote <<"I'd hate to be you" really means "I'd hate to be you and be married to someone like me." >> Good point HP << Why not tell her exactly what you told us?..... I'm sure she would try to turn it into a male v. female rant,>> That sounded like one of my first grade recess experiences, "boys against the girls." More womens issues mentality, just my POV.
HD wrote <<I really do feel like she wants a conflict to flare up....she is baiting me. >> HD some people like negative attention. Is she the type who likes to debate things from an extreme point of view?
I worked in a group home for deliquent boys. Many could not handel positive comments or reinforcers. They would do things to lose points (each resident started the week with 500 points, a penny a point) and by the end of the week most of the boys only had 100 points. If you had 500 points at the end of the week, you were labeled a "suck up" by the other residents. Does this have anything to do with her work, wants to win more, be right more, or be more powerfull at work.
wildebube wrote << When you (apparently) don't want it, the power is gone. She does not like that - not one little bit.>> HD, If you W thinks she has power by with holding sex, what other kind of power would she like to have and not with hold sex? Well, If you knew that you would not be on the SSM BB now, would you?
HD, my W was loving and caring until she went to work in a "Womens Issues" field. She got more into what other women were complaining about and brought that home. Not that your W is into "Womens Issues" per say, but many women complain more about their H's at work than men complaining about their W's. Look at her work friends for some possible insight to her problem with a NORMAL sex drive attitude.
I can tell who my W is talking to at work if she hangs out with men bashing women for about a week. There was one woman my W used to talk to at work. This woman bashers her H a lot. When I see this woman and her H drive down the street, she is sitting next to him like they were teenagers on a date. So I assume she likes her H, but wants sympathy form her peer group. Just a thought HD.
OG Lou Read many books, watched many TV programs about relationships, and found too few answers so far.
