Quote: Corri: basically I ended the conversation by saying "not now." This suggests that I would be willing to get "into it" later. I'm going to have to say to her that I can't really be happy in a room mate relationship for life.
Yes, you are. But what you recognize is you are not ready to take that step yet, which is fine. It does you and her no good to get into an argument if you are not ready to draw your line in the sand... and then it is not an argument, anyway. So my point was, until you are ready, don't half-asss it, you know? All it does is give her fuel and a reason to be pissed at her father through you, and makes you more sad and miserable in the process.
Quote: I am still reading that boundaries in marriage book. I'm on the section about commitment, and at least it helps me feel like I am doing the right thing about staying where I am, and not saying I'm going to leave her all the time. She's the one who, when we fight, always threatens divorce. And, when I refuse to take the bait and say something like, "fine, draw up the papers," she gets all indignant and accuses ME of not wanting to work for a good relationship.
Sweety, you are a man, and that means you will never, ever, ever understand the logic of a woman... all you have to be is clear on your boundaries, and you can let the woman worry about her own logic. You don't even have to GO there. That is one of the brilliant things about boundaries.
Take your time, read your book, understand it, think on what your boundaries are, and when you are ready, you will confront your wife. Until you have decided you are ready, you are wise, DON'T get into it (and that is a boundary in a sense, did you realize that? and you are already doing it... see how brilliant you are?)
I understand what you miss and why, and that is helping you inch closer to setting those boundaries. Nothing wrong with taking your time, none whatsoever, because if you do it before you are ready, it's just going to blow up in your face. And it may blow up in your face when you do set your boundary... but the difference is, you are ready for it... either way, you can deal...
Chin up, buckeroo. No need to be down... unless you want to be... I understand that... pity-parties are sometimes very necessary... that center of the universe chair is quite comfy... stay there as long as you need. You'll get out of the chair when you're tired of it.
I'm sorry, I can just think of no good reason to bash you.... just ain't happenin'. And if I can't think of a reason to bash you... well... there just can't be one single solitary good reason for it...
