It was about 10pm last night, me and W had just turned off the light. Having just watched a tv show where two characters ended up in bed together, she commented about how men need sex so much. "I know you feel that way, and I'd hate to be you," she said. I thought to myself, here is a woman who is so out of touch with her own sexuality. "I'd hate to be you, too." She said, "Why can't you just be happy with the way you are and the way I am?" Me: I don't want to get into this right now.
No more conversation ensued. I got out of bed about 5 minutes later, realizing that I couldn't get to sleep for awhile without taking something to calm my mind (don't worry folks, I'm not addicted to meds, just took a Benadryl).
This morning, I just gave her a brief peck on the top of her sleepy head on the way out the bedroom to go to work. She asked, "are you mad at me?" No.
But I am, a little. I wish Mojo/Jenny were here, as I'd love to hear some analogies to W's "happy" comment.
Could she be "happy" with the way we were if I basically forced myself on her every day? Isn't she doing that to me by rejecting me every day? Why must I be one to compromise totally each day, save for two or three times a year? She is expecting me to keep my distance and be co-parenting room mates instead of H and W.
Any support, words of encouragement or advice would be appreciated.
