Genie2 wrote << I see it as not only a lack of respect for me, but that he doesn't respect himself very much. >>
Possible reasons for not bathing often enough: 1. Poor selfimage. 2. Thinks he has too much work to do, has the mental attitude get work done first, shower later. (me) 3. Hopeless, why bother attitude, things are always going to suck. 4. I do all this xxxxx or yyyyy for her and nothing happens. Too much work for so little reward. (my problem) 5. Similar to 4, I worked 1/2 hour on my personal apperance and did not even get a hug, why bother. I will only be rejected if I shower, why set myself up for disapointment. 6. I think other people are too hung up about personal hygene. It is not natural, what did people do 100 yrs ago? We have gotten to be germ nuts (phobia). 7. I can get another day out of these pants before "I" have to do the laundry. I will shower then. ( you posted about the laundry getting neglected) 8. similar to 7. I do not have anything clean to wear, why shower and put on dirty clothes?
I like things honey writes. She has goood insight to problem solving.
If you do the coupon thing Genie2, remember it is better to start with small things. So print the coupons for the hugs, the ML ones might be too big a step. Rebuilding the connection and trusting between the 2 of you takes time, a long time.
