Even though we have already chatted about this, I figure I'd log here what we discussed for reminder's sake.
I have a special needs kid who is very affected by changes... all of them. And this time of year, our bodies don't transition from daylight savings time to standard time without some struggle. I know that D7 has had a tough time. I know that I'm having some difficulty as well (and my changes are in my appetite, which I learned is normal) and even Mr. Wonderful has joked about being depressed until it's getting lighter at the end of the day as well.
Men are just as susceptible to environmental changes as women, Myrrh. So what to do with this information?
Apply it and use compassion and understanding.
You two have had a horrific and surreal year. His horrible experience at the shop, the fear of being implicated with his business partner, losing your baby, having difficulties with your family all come in to play here.
It seems to me as though you guys took 5 years of horror and condensed it into half a year. And I know I would have difficulty figuring anything out in the middle of that turmoil.
I really just want to pass along some free advice given to me by my SIL after I was first married. First I thought she was nuts. But after I had kids, I realized that she was right.
She told me that there would be times when me and Mr. Wonderful would be emotionally disconnected. And while the temptation to give in to the feeling of needing more time alone would take root, the answer is to put more effort and time in with him.
In the past, you've indicated that your H responds really well to PT. Can you start building this momentum back with him by initiating hugs? Or leaning over in bed tonight and initiating some closeness? And I'll go one step further, because I know I can push your buttons....
How about laying your body on top of his, giving him some warm kisses and tell him how much you miss him and love him? And how much you want to feel connected to him again?
I'm going to guess that you really punch some good buttons with very little effort. The best reward? You know, because of your efforts, that these changes occurred.
That's pretty powerful, sweetie.
Now how about some goals that are self nurturing and things that bring joy to you as a person?
I'll keep the rest of our chat between us...
Big hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 