I first wanted to plug Sage's new thread. LOTS of great info and insites to learn from.
Here I sit....2 yrs. post bomb. M 10 yrs., 2 kids ages 3 and 5 yrs. old. I'm 34, H is 33. Typical story of ILYBNILWY, turns into MLC....EA....you know the drill.......
2 yrs. later....I have become much more independant. I really enjoy watching my kids grow and being #1 in their lives. I have become much more aware and sensitive to other people and realize how different we all are re: personalities and how we handle stress. I am a much better communicator. I do my best to not be controlling and judgemental like I use to be.
Things I WISH were better: I wish I had a H who loved me. We are S for the 3RD time. Yes, you read that right. Who would have thunk it???
H and I get along very well. That "spark" just isn't there for my H. I guess? GOD tells us to love one another and turn the other cheek. So, I do feel good that I have been able to forgive H for all the lies, deceit and cheating. I do remember but the pain has subsided. Unfortunately, I also think I have made it easier for H to have his cake and eat it too.
What a journey this life is......
This morning H was 45 minutes late to get the kids so that I could go to work. This is the 1st time this has ever happened. H apologized profusely for oversleeping. I was not happy with him but what can you do?
I met H after work today with the kids and picked out carpet. H then asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat. I said yes. Actually, I was planning on taking the kids out anyway to avoid getting stuck in traffic.
So as far as positives....H is not avoiding me like the plague like he use to. I am doing better but not perfect with not asking him questions. When I do get upset that I don't have a H that loves me I don't stay stuck in that mode for long.
What I need to improve upon is: letting go. Let H do his thing and I do mine. Let GOD deal with my life and my H's and give him full control to do so. I need to lose weight which I have been struggling with for my whole life.
