Quote: All in all, I felt fine, and after he kissed me goodbye on the cheeks, I realised that I didn't want to ever kiss him again without him wanting it, and I was prepared to accept his not wanting it until he did, if ever, want it. I felt great!
That's a good place to be in
Quote: I think this whole "I'll do whatever I darn well want" attitude is sort of a reaction to being in the marriage where I would tell him he needed to set some kind of example to D in his behaviour, but he never bought into that idea.
yeah, that's a trap a lot of us fall into, "mothering" our H's, can't blame them for not liking it. And yes, they rebel, and use the kids in their rebelling. Just let go of the food issues, etc.
Quote: Then he said, OW 2 was back for a couple of days, trying to get her rent deposit back, but her landlady was a b***h and refused to return most of it on spurious grounds, saying that the house had not been left in clean and good condition, but H said OW spent five days cleaning it. He admitted that OW 2 wasn't the cleanest and tidiest person, but when she cleaned, then she did a good job. The landlady's objections were all spurious... Did I need to know all about this???
I agree, seems pretty weird that she would spend the money on an airline ticket to recoup the deposit - sounds more like an excuse to see H, and he seems to have fallen for her damsel in distress routine! Didn't know OW2 had a H - does he know about the affair?
As for H's anger at her landlord, and at various other people - anger is often a manifestation of depression in men. When my H was at his worst, he changed from a normally pretty mellow guy to Mr. Road Rage. Your detachment helps a lot for you to deal with this.
All in all, I think you did very well. Just keep living your life. You're right, you really don't want him back unless he's able to grow quite a bit from where he is now. Just keep moving forward and see if he catches up.
