I have been struggling in the past with this whole thing about how to not be too available, but also how to show unconditional love, while also making H feel the consequences of his actions etc etc. Tricky, huh?
I am impressed with Odga, he has been very consistent in showing his ex unconditonal love.
As I walked throught the park this morning after dropping D off at school, I decided my plan of action was -
Show unconditional love, without wearing my heart on my sleeve or smothering him. Be less than totally available. Make plans to enjoy my life! Do not seek to influence H's actions in any way. Stick up for myself regarding finances, but validate his money concerns.
When I got home I found an email saying that he confirmed he was taking D out for lunch.
Then the phone rang, and he confirmed it again!
Then said, I am taking D to the Chinese restaurant, you can come along if you want, only I can't afford to pay for all three of us. You know how it is. I said, yes, I do.
I said, well, if I decide to come I will turn up at the school to pick up D with you, I just have to see how this morning goes workwise... (Not being too eager!! Let him wonder for a few hours....)
My weekend plans are shaping up nicely, they involve three families, one to travel up with and two to stay with, one night each. Looks like it is going to be fun!
OK, back to work. I have to prepare to teach a lesson or two. Then I have to 'decide'!!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
(Not being too eager!! Let him wonder for a few hours....)
