He says he doesn't think he will come down, he has an appointment with a skin specialist on Tuesday, it would be too much going to and fro. I don't know if this is a hint to be invited to stay down from Sunday till Tuesday, but I think I will leave it for now.
Why? Because, I could do with a peacful time this weekend, where I can just relax. And also I don't want to appear too pursuing and eager. And thirdly, I think H should 'enjoy' some time on his own, perhaps. I need space from him too.
Earlier this year he talked about needing to stand on his own two feet (emotionally speaking), but frankly he hasn't done this, he has had the crutch of one or other OW most of the nineteen months of our separation. It is best if I am not just a crutch for him, and he takes time to reflect on things.
Also, I think H might find it awkward being in his OWN house yet having to be the one who sleeps on the floor or whatever, like he's the outsider.
More musings -
About his insistance that he is my "ex-husband". I think it has very much to do with his feeling the need to start with a clean slate, to feel he is not cheating on me/his marriage vows by being with OW 1 or 2. Keeps his conscience clear. He emailed me at New Year admitting that he had betrayed me with OW 1 even though at bomb time he had insisted that they were only good freinds and all that stuff. So the guilt was obviously getting to him.
He has also repeatedly said throughout this year, things like, I am his ex-wife, the only thing he can offer me is financial support, things "changed for him this summer" (when he took up again with OW 2). So even *if* he were having second thoughts, it is quite a journey BACK from those positions.
I don't feel like a great catch myself right now. I am getting there, but I have been quite depressed these two to three months, with my Mum passing and all the other stuff. My face has erupted in spots, I thought I had left them behind years ago!!
I need some ME time, to recover. I will insist that H have D with him next weekend, as I plan to have some fun time myself.
Ellie, I really don't feel much anger towards H, it really IS just a need to look after myself and recover my poise and self esteem and health and get rid of the bags under my eyes and all that.
I still have as my goal being able to spend some time over Christmas together. But that is still many weeks from now, there's time to get myself a little bit better sorted out before then.
As for the diet, I am stuck at the weight I was before I flew to other country for my Mum. (I still have a voice mail message that she left here a couple of days before she went, I listen to it now and then, it is strange, she is ringing to talk to me about her sister's funeral arrangements, but she sounds normal and healthy ) I still think I am waiting for the delayed reaction to her passing. Right now H is incapable of being any kind of comfort, he has not mentioned her at all since the phone call when I informed him that she was gone. He is in needy mode, and I am as well.
One advantage of his not coming down is that I won't have to go through my computer erasing all traces of having been on this site and various other things!! I can keep my signing in cookies another week or two!
I plan to reply to his email with a cheerful OK and some WOA.
Have a good weekend everyone!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
) I still think I am waiting for the delayed reaction to her passing. Right now H is incapable of being any kind of comfort, he has not mentioned her at all since the phone call when I informed him that she was gone. He is in needy mode, and I am as well. 
