Just be careful to distinguish between angry detachment and loving detachment, okay?
If these weekends at your house are actually the first clumsy efforts at reconnecting, pushing him away in anger may be the wrong thing to do. But I DO agree you need to stop twisting yourself up into a pretzel for him.
Why not just send him an email (you DID say you'd get back to him) and let him know his relatives are coming for the weekend, and he's welcome to join you all, but might have to sleep on the floor. Then let him decide.
