Please try to step back further and REALLY determine what you want. This controlling dance that you two are playing at is keeping the real issues buried under raw emotion. I don't see a true desire on hubby's part to make this work. Why should he? You are right there as his safety net. Sorry to be so blunt, but will you at least consider distancing yourself from all this and see that you can be very happy being who you are? Then, and only then, can you determine what is best.
I hope you can allow yourself to be selfish and give the most important person in this two player game a chance. (you ) You cannot and will not be able to make him happy any more than he, or anyone else can make you happy. That's your job. Take time right now to get YOU happy. He and others will then be able to feed off of your bouyant energy.
It is easy for us on the boards to see that positive side of you. I'm afraid your being so close to the hubby's situation might only portray a clingy, angry person. Show yourself as the person he can't live without. For that, you have to take some 'you' time.
) You cannot and will not be able to make him happy any more than he, or anyone else can make you happy. That's your job. Take time right now to get YOU happy. He and others will then be able to feed off of your bouyant energy. 
