It sounds to me like going dark would really benefit you. You could build up your PMA and self-affirming behaviors, and H can stop treating you like you live and breathe by his schedule.
How about letting him talk to your D when he wants to change the schedule?
H: I was wondering, there's a movie I want to see that will nake me two hours late to pick up D tomorrow. LnL: Well, here's D, you can tell her yourself. Let me know what you two decide.
AND, Ellie's advice about going out while he's there is brilliant. Just leave him. If he's going to treat you like a hotel, then act like a hotel. Here's the key, see you later.
