Here's my report of the weekend. H has only just left, this Monday morning. I think I kept to most of the dos and don'ts of my last post, but as he made a big deal of kissing D goodbye and then gave me my perfunctory peck on the cheek, I felt an overwhelming sadness and grief that my family has been split like this. Like, he loves D so much, but has to keep at arm's lenght D's mother, his ex-wife and co-parent. He really is calling all the shots around here, and I feel that has got to change. He is calling the shots on how much I can feel about my "ex-husband" in my own home. I think two days is far too long to "act as if" I am OK with this situation, but let me start at the beginning.
D and I were in the park about two hours or more before H's expected time of arrival on Saturday. I get a call on the cell phone that he is already in town, he is having a coffee with the best friend of OW 1 and wants to know if he can turn up soon. I say, OK, being the doormat that I am. Saturday goes OK, we mostly just enjoy time in the park, watch a video and eat. D does "some" homework. I am determined that D finishes all her homework before the end of Sunday, as she always makes a big deal and there is always a drama around her homework. H promises that he will help D with homework on Sunday.
Sunday morning we go to the park again, then H says let's go get a coffee. He orders himself a whisky and a snack, then says to me, you can get this, while giving me a contribution for his drink. I am turned off by this behaviour. It's not as if I didn't pay last time we went out, he is staying the whole weekend and being fed at my place... why make a deal of asking me to pay? I refused his contribution, and went to pay, and more than half the bill was for his stuff, although three of us had something. Nothing major, it just hit a wrong note.
Then he talked about a film in town that he would like to see, would I mind if he went to see it later? I was taken aback, (why should I be, this is typical H behaviour after all) and I said nothing, which he took as OK. D asked, can I come? And H replied, no D, it's a scary movie. This, from a man who lets D watch anything and everything at home and always has done - scary, unsuitable, explicit, you name it. Of course I didn't suggest we ALL go see it as it indeed is supposed to be a scary movie (The Village).
So we went home, had lunch, I went to bed for a nap as I was feeling a bit tired and under the weather, H and D were horsing around noisily the whole time although she was suppsed to be doing her homeowrk with him. Then he came to tell me he was off to see his movie, D hadn't done any homework, she was scared what my reaction would be, so not to say anything to her, he would do some with her when he returned. I got up, was in a bad mood, but decided to make the best of it. I made a cake and then D and I started watching a DVD film together. H came back in the middle and joined us. Then dinner, some homework and bed.
Just going to post this and continue in another post, as I fear my computer is playing up and I don't want to lose what I have written.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
