Putting into practice what I have learned...

[Underdog]

LNL,

Wow, you certainly are feeling a little down over here! I'm gonna say something affirming (hoping you will see my incoherent thoughts and words as validation).

((((((LNL))))))

All this stuff happening at the same time is a lot to deal with. Just trying to constantly remain balanced on a teetertotter is really hard work. Then you get a temperature check on your D's school work, and your friend seems to be somewhere else.

It's really not about you and I'd relax, knowing that there is nothing you could do to change the past.

That being said...

+ You realize that your expectations and general mood are what caused you to get upset with D. You've already provided the solution. Kids are so forgiving. Somehow I don't think your D is any different.

+ You're already a teacher, and you have the tools and skills to work with your D on her neatness. I'll bet this isn't an issue in 6 months!

+ You recognize that your friend has been a friend.

Note: LNL, I go through periods of weeding out the people who have become acquaintances and not friends anymore. I used to get very upset by this. But now I see things differently. We change and so must our friends with us if we are to grow with them.

Maybe you expect too much from her than she is really willing to give? Maybe she is someone who doesn't give in a R as much as she takes? Or maybe she's not in a position to offer more? I really see this one as an opportunity to communicate!

Is it possible to grab her for some coffee and QT and devote a little gab session? Make her feel wanted and not needed? Hey, another opportunity to validate ya know!

But do take the time to recognize that she just might not be the friend you need going forward... something not to resent but to celebrate. We outgrow people and they outgrow us. It just means in the grand scheme that another door will be opening wide in the very near future.

Betsey