I'm afraid I'm getting into a stinking thinking rut at the moment.
This morning D drove me up the wall with her slowness in getting ready for school, and I just blew it. I screamed at her and stamped my feet and then I burst into tears. I KNOW it was partly just feeling low in general and partly my frustration that she won't listen to me and be more attentive and obedient. I feel so alone on this issue. When I mentioned to H last night that I had had some frustrations with D and dicipline, I don't remember him responding in any way. Not his concern, I suppose.
I am also a little mad at my best friend. Some years ago she left her H and I was very supportive, both by being a listening ear and by running errands and things for her (not encouraging her to leave or anything!!) If I knew then wht I knew now about DBIng I might have been a little different, but her case was rather particular and I can't go into details here.
On the other hand, while she has sort of been here for me, there are days when she is definitely NOT THERE and I feel let down. I feel let down by a number of people, actually. Let down by students cancelling. Let down by my H, my friend, my D's behaviour...
Now, I know one thing, sometimes these blips come all at the same time ('it never rains, it pours') and you feel overwhelmed. It isn't that my friend doesn't want to hear from me, as I know she still has bad days herself. I know H can't be feeling on top of the world with OW 2 just gone. My students don't mean anything personal by their bad behaviour, I will just have to be firmer about what our arrangements are so I don't lose out in the future! And D is just a kid, with kiddish inattention. I have decided to be very attentive with her this evening and tomorrow morning, to see if we can't just ride this one and come out the other end smiling!
There, I feel better already!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
