On Sunday morning H phoned and said, rather than come down to the city and waste a whole day this week, I was thinking of coming down this evening with my landlord and going to see the doctor first thing tomorrow, so would it be OK for me to stay the night at your place? I said, no problem.
He arrived and we had a pleasant evening. He asked about what we had done that day, and I told him about going to the birthday lunch for the one year old - attended by dozens of people who are in fact H's old work colleagues... I had no trouble feeling 'comfortable' with any of them.
We had dinner, D did her homework, and then went to bed. H and I watched a film together.
This morning while D got ready for school and H and I were sitting having a coffee/tea together we had a nice chat about things in general, and even had a few laughs reminiscing about a couple of things. I saw H's eyes actually light up with laughter and he even looked me in the eye briefly. I mean, really looked at me, if you know what I mean, not just a dead look in my direction.
We walked D to school together, then H asked if I wanted to join him for another coffee at a café before he pushed off to the doctor's. Recently he has been happy to push off without any such invite. After that he kissed me goodbye.
Positives -
H invited himself over.
He made himself at home here, I must say. He even washed up the ashtray after emptying out his fag ends, and picked up some bits of fluff off the kitchen floor.
Told me he was ordering some books online, and was there a book I might like as a gift?
Agreed to do me a favour with his new piece of equipment.
Said he wouldn't take something with him this time, he would pick it up next time he was down.
Said he had got back D's pyjamas from OW 2.
I am content to just be H's friend right now and have casual friendly contact from time to time, until he feels relaxed around me. I in turn need to pull myself out of my depression and get moving on all the goals I set myself. I need to focus on the POSITIVES regarding my H and not the negatives.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
