thanks for your concern. i hope i wasn't projecting. i apologize if i came across as complaining. my biggest work as far as differentiation goes is to not complain or whine. i'm sure its going to take years to completely learn how to constructively communicate.
As far as the 6 month rule, we've talked about sex many times where she explained that she turned herself off because i wasn't there a lot. I have apologized many times for my role in that sitch without expecting any explanation for anything from her. I guess i've spent two years trying to convince her by my actions how sincere i am in my remorsefulness.
how long should i take blame for the sake of venting on her part?? Don't know but at some point she has to take ownership of her issues instead of using me as a whipping post.
I think once a spouse has accepted thier role in relationship issues and promises to change and then changes and is sincere, using past issues as a means of avoiding present issues is non-constructive.
having said that i don't really know when enough is enough. Another interesting comment, one day i said how sorry i was that i didn't spend enough time with her when the kids were growing up and she responded that she didn't recall that being a problem (go figure!).
SolidMechanic, thanks for your help as well as everyone else.
