is just getting off (LDW)acceptable?

[SolidMechanic]

My response is that anything older than six months i'm not interested in talking about.

I take it that's your rule, not hers. Let her talk about everything. What's the harm? If you listen to her, she might get the idea that you take her seriously. You should address both of your issues, preferrably at the same time. She moved away emotionally when you were otherwise occupied. Maybe if she can get some of this dumb relationship stuff off of her chest, she might actually let you get close to her.

My wife brings up stuff from when Jimmy Carter was president. She fell in love with me when I was an irresponsible pothead jerk. Now that I'm a responsible, warm, nurturing adult, I'm having problems igniting any kind of spark. If I listen to all of the old BS, maybe she can learn to get closer to me.

SM, a fellow engineer who is also reaping the dividends that are paid when we neglect the emotional needs of our wives for many years.