well, SRV, I suppose your only option then is to decline next time she offers a quickie. If it leaves you feeling bad, then don't take her up on it.
Or ask, at the time the offer is made, whether it's going to be quick or can you take your time.
I know this is hard, and yes I've done it myself, but to see you decline something that she knows you desperately want will underscore to her that you mean business.
Also, telling someone that they suck in bed is never pleasant but I think that you may have to do this in a roundabout way. Even if the frequency was where you wanted it, it sounds as if you would still be unsatisfied with the quality.
So you have several choices: *You can say nothing and go with the flow and hope that her willingness to make you happy spills over into a willingness to try new things.
*You can work on frequency and leave the quality for later.
*You can make the quality the defining issue and tell her that you can live with 1x a week but you need it to be longer and incorporate foreplay, etc.
*You can show her, rather than tell her, that you don't want it like that. If she is hurrying you along, just stop ML to her. Tell her that you've told her you don't want to rush and that she is ruining the moment for you.
There are all kinds of approaches and I think I've taken them all, at one point or another, to drive home my feelings on this issue to my H. Sometimes I have to bust balls, other times positive reinforcement works.
You know your wife best--what do YOU think would work best with her?
