she will say she is tired, has to work the next day. one time she told me she is an instant gratification kind of girl.
i remember discussing my needs with her and she said i quote: "what's the problem? i go boom you go boom". She recognizes my needs but only to the extent they agree with hers. I don't have to understand her needs, i accept whatever they and try to work with them.
it's not all bad: i've been very tough in a nice sort of way. I told her i needed to ML once a week to feel good about myself and us and that i thought it would be good for the marriage. she said if she wasn't in the mood she should do it anyway? I said occassionally yes she should do it. After all we do things every day we don't necessarily want to do and we don't have a problem with it. She's indicated that sex is pleasurable and then proceeds to bring up issues from years past. My response is that anything older than six months i'm not interested in talking about.
By the way, it's not that we're not experienced at FP i usually end up doing most of it and that's ok i like doing it. since she works weekends, she has a day off during the week. I usually limit my initiations and invitations to then because she has energy and is more likely to be relaxed. this worked until she decided she wanted to sleep in until 8-8:30am. i usually can't wait any longer and have to get to work. Now what i do is the night before i ask if she wants me to let her sleep. She knows that if she says yes i will get up early get dressed and go to work. if she says that i don't have to i bring her coffee and will rub her back for 1/2-1hr. If there's still no response i go to work. fortunately i have the kind of job which will cut me some slack. Sometimes she will give me the choice of making love and being late for work or doing without at least another week.
One thing that is doing something is the 180 thing. i've stopped accepting poor behavior and attitude toward me thus we argue a lot more but we are also ML at lot more 1x/wk (30 day length) not 1x/mo.
i think right now her attitude is okay we'll have more sex but it will be on my terms, my way, which is generally her belief system.
thanks for responding, i'm not complaining but it sometimes helps to talk it over.
