I am not familiar with your sitch, but I think what your W did was really hot! It would take a lot for me to pull off an initiation like that..she felt safe and comfortable with you to " go for it." It is about you. Sometimes it's nice just to take the emotional connection for granted and go for fun, physical sex! If your wife is the LD partner, she may be thrilled that she felt so aroused and just went with it. This may be a good starting point to develop the kind of fulfilling intimacy that you are looking for.
