Looking backward...but only to move forward

[sage]

I was wondering is this the man you married and the one in the middle just when things got taken for granted and all that other junk that happens if you don't nurture a relationship?

It's an interesting question, Ms. Pam...

At one time I would have said "nope, not the man I married...new guy all around" but some months ago I was re-reading some letters that h had written me during our "courtship" (all 10+ years of it!) and the letters were wonderfully romantic. It made me wonder/realize that I think I haven't been "hearing" or "seeing" this side of him even though it's been present all along. I think I've been so busy dealing with my ASSumptions and righteousness that I forgot to see what was right in front of me.

All that being said, I think that the "middle" part of the R had a negative effect on both of us...even well before the EA and the bomb, I think we were both very polarized and detrimental in the way that we treated each other. A good read of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" would have saved us both a fair amount of trouble, actually.

Sage