Sage- Oh my gosh. I am loving this new thread. It is funny, just this weekend I was thinking that I wanted to ask you about your early threads. When I read that you have been at this two years, I became really interested in how things have progressed. I am definitely going to go back and peruse your old stuff.
Here are the items that have really connected for me in your summary above:
1) Presence of OW is not an indicator of how my M is doing. – Since OW, H and I all work at the same company (about 600 people) and he does need to interact with her for work, her presence will be an ongoing challenge. 2) Communication/listening- a definite area for me to work on as well. Plus with a toddler, it is tough. 3) Appreciating H’s love for me- My H was always gregarious in his love for me. Unfortunately, I took it for granted and didn’t pay enough attention after our S was born.
So here is what I’m interested in: affection and physical intimacy. My H does not show any signs of affection. I try to lovingly touch his back or stroke his hair to let him know that I am okay with it. He doesn’t pull away like he used to but he doesn’t seem to really like it either. Also, we haven’t been doing too many one on one activities- my parents suggested that we take in a movie while they watched S and he didn’t seem interested. How long did it take your H to become more interested after he broke off with OW?
I am following your story and am really identifying with your thoughts/goals. I also conjure up all kinds of scenarios and ASSume that H’s quietness or bad moods are a reflection of how he is feeling about me or us.
H and I were also married 7 years when this all started. Perhaps there is something to that seven year itch theory.
Keep up the great work and helping others! I'll be checking back! WN
