I think you have a lot of fine points. I just want to throw in my 2 cents. Some of us are just looking for ANY sex, some of us just want quality sex. I prefer to go even beyond all of this, "Desire" determines everything about a persons personality. I know that I complain about the desire aspect all the time, and people think I am refering to sex. Sex is only a piece of it. When I think of "desire", i apply it to everything the LD spouse does 24/7. I literally see it as a complete personality change. Desire means the following for many of us HD men:
1) Obviously, wanting sex without help from the HD. 2) Loving to make out. 3) Touching, caressing. 4) Loves to perform oral sex. 5) Wanting to give pleasure to the other spouse, again without aid from the HD. 6) Loves to kiss many times each day, some erotic. 7) Loves fantasy and implements it. 8) Flirtatious. 9) Non erotic touching everyday, multiple times each day. 10) Makes affection and sex a priority. 11) Makes their spouse their #1 priority, above all else. 12) Feels sexy! 13) Probably many more things.
I as a HD, pretty much am most if not all the items on this list every second of everyday. This is waht "Desire" is. I think that many LD women when asked to increase the "desire" tend to focus on the sex, they don't relaize that what is really being asked is for them to change virtually everything about the way they live.
For example: I desire to kiss my wife when I wake up, when I go to bed, and when I get home from work, or from being out during the day. This has nothing to do with sex, but it is the "Desire" for sex that directly impacts this. My wife does not like to kiss me or be affectionate, it is to closely related to sex and to feeling sexy. That is another major hurdle, LD people tend to have REAL problems feeling sexy, I always feel sexy. Somewhere, I have posted Cemar's list for LD's, someone else updated it, and I think that pretty well sums up "desire" by my logic.
