Letting our light shine...Pam and Sage DB !!!

[sage]

Another thought I have had is what about personal boundaries?

I don't think I have very many either way, as in not good on self - control, and much too willing to take responsibility for other peoples emotions, problems, feelings so not enough boundaries that way either. As in, here I am walk on me because I feel that is all I am good enough to deserve, but then I just feel more crappy.

Well...Ruiz says (in "The Four Agreements") that you will let people treat you as badly as you treat yourself...and only if they treat you WORSE than you treat yourself will you leave...I'm sure that Dr. Phil would say something similar

So...exploring the notion of boundaries a bit...what's your gut reaction to how to make some changes here?

Can you give 5 examples of times when you thought you allowed others to trounce on your boundaries? I'd even think SMALL...like times when you said yes when you wanted to say no, etc.

THEN, I think we should come up with 1 or 2 small actions around that...what I'm thinking we'll likely end up with is something like "the next time JoeBlow suggests a place I hate for lunch, I will say 'Joe, I don't like Pete's Pizza Palace. I'd prefer to go to Pam's Pierogi Paradise' AND I will follow that up with a hundred apologies for hurting his feelings".

IMHO, one way to make some good progress here, Pam is to start super small..it can even be as simple as NAMING your feelings and reactions to something even if you don't feel ready to ACT on them (so, IOW, if Joe suggests the pizza place...if you don't feel ready to offer up your alternate plan FINE but be careful to note to yourself "I don't like that pizza place. I'd prefer not to go there. I'm feeling XYZ about it", etc.

Sage