Quote:

I think it gets worse than this, and at the risk of trivializing things,

You don’t want to hurt someone you love. I know these things no mater how you try to make it supportive have to hut the LD person. Sounds noble (or stupid) but I would rather ‘take the hit’ than let my W, and I know my protective side makes me take more of the pain, lets her off the hook to easy, and ultimately prevents faster actions to problems.


I'm going to comiserate here.

Doesn't it suck when you ask your spouse to change for the good of the marriage and she gets offended because she thinks that it is just for you? That's totally wrong-headed. Sure, I want sex. I guess that's selfish. Doesn't she want a better marriage? I'm asking her to change to improve both of her lives, not just my life. After all, we share our lives. If it sucks for me, it sucks for her too.

I'm done ranting for now .

If you approach your requests from a place of compassion and respect, and an attitude that you want a better marriage for the both of you, maybe she won't have such a hard time accepting your criticisms.

Back to work.

SM


"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment."
Henry David Thoreau