I think that we HD people want to cloak our language too often, both to protect the other person (whom we love) and to not make ourselves look like psychos. But once you lay it on the line--this is who I am--it is liberating.
I think it gets worse than this, and at the risk of trivializing things,
You don’t want to hurt someone you love. I know these things no mater how you try to make it supportive have to hut the LD person. Sounds noble (or stupid) but I would rather ‘take the hit’ than let my W, and I know my protective side makes me take more of the pain, lets her off the hook to easy, and ultimately prevents faster actions to problems. On paper easy to say, in reality its ‘tough to hut the ones you love’.
Quote:
One more question: In what way did your wife think that things were going better? Was it really improving in this area? Maybe she needs some validation that, yes, that area is great! and can we also work on XYZ area?
That would have been the question to ask!! Now here is the problem, what if she thinks X is better, but I don’t. We need to address it but tough to do that while being honest and encouraging.
