Thank you for the inquiry. I find the advice that both you and your H provide to be quite insightful and helpful.
Actually, one of the thoughts that did go through my mind is exactly what you mentioned..."a quickie is just a quickie"...for me it doesn't devalue it one bit, I told my H I was certainly up for that :-) Now, if all we ever had was quickies that would get old...but I did make sure to tell him that quickies were fine by me...we can always take our time with each other when better opportunities present themselves.
Another thing I thought was this...it's very possible he's trying to take into consideration our lack of personal time. We have a 15 mo old at home, and as anyone who has raised children knows...personal time right now is a rare commodity LOL.
To address your question about reading/misreading each other...I do think there is something to that. I have no doubt I don't always know what's going on with my H...he's trying to learn to communicate what's going on with him more effectively, but he's still in his infancy where that's concerned.
I really believe it's a matter of trust for him, not that he doesn't necessarily trust me mind you, but he doesn't trust that what has happened to him in the past won't happen again when he sticks his neck out. It's really difficult to take that 1st step towards really making a change and to trust someone not to hurt you.
So please, tell me if you think I'm excusing too much away. A great deal of my patience with this situation comes from the fact that I've been in his shoes (many, many years ago)...I know what it feels like to take the sexual/emotional beating he's taken...and I also know how difficult it is to overcome it.
