Journey, H thinks that I am needy as well! I think he thinks women in general are nutz, lol.
I was irritated with him one day last week and he arrived home from work. He looked at me and said, What's wrong? I said, I'm still irritated from what happened at lunch! He said, See that's the difference between women and men...the women can remember every little detail about how they were wronged and the men can't even remember what the fight was about! If I say I'm sorry, you'll bust me on the fact that I don't even know what I'm apologizing about.
I started cracking up laughing cause I knew he was speaking the truth! He had forgotten all about the entire thing and here I was still stewing..
So I do know that my emotional needs freak him out and confuse him, just as my sexual needs do to him. Oh well, we can laugh about them and defuse the whole thing so that is a good thing.
Here is my secret problem with the solution-based approach: If I always go "first" I do indeed get what I want from him but at what price? I tend to feel, after a time, that I have sold my soul. I need to feel his desire, and not always as a result of my own. I could PM the crud outta him but at this point in my life, I am not prepared to follow through with any threats I could make so it is not the right time for that approach.
Anddddddddddd.... Here is my number one problem--expectations. I am setting myself up for a biggie with this idea that, if I make it safe for him, he will begin to enjoy the process so much that he breaks out of his shell and goes first, himself. Maybe this will happen, maybe not.
It is the maybe not that frightens me!
I do remember that, before I was pg, there were times when he would go first but the memory is so distant that I wonder if I am lookin thru rose colored glasses..?
Also, as GEL has reminded me before, I need to keep in mind that his form of desire is very very subtle and I shouldn't expect it to look a certain way. However it's packaged, I need to be aware of what it is that he's giving me and be grateful for it.
