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See, my H doesn't actively think about sex. Ever.
If a sexual thought comes into his brain, he stuffs it away pronto. This is not due to religious hangups so much as it is due to his "self control" issues.

HP,

I've invented a new psychological term just for your H:

Prostate-retentive.
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Am I missing something? We ALL have expectations (btw, that is probably too strong of a term, but I can't think of the proper way to phrase it, so sue me ) of our mates so why does the expectation of sex cause feelings of pressure and fear? I don't understand that..

Is it because it is something that you have to SHARE? It can't be done alone?
Meaning, he expects dinner..I cook it..but I do it alone; I am not having to be intimate and up close and personal with him while doing so.

Is it possible that he is afraid of the performance aspect? That he won't measure up? That he'll somehow fall short? If that's true, then his problem doesn't come from thinking of sex in terms of sharing, quite the opposite. It comes from thinking of sex as something he does to you, and can fail. Especially since he has no control over you.

Just wondering though. He sure is an oddball. I think he is an alien. But from a nice planet . He seems like a really nice guy.

SM

"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment."
Henry David Thoreau