Glad you and H got things rolling. I think you have some definite info which can help you plan a strategy, namely, that with 5 weeeks off H wasn't raring to go. You know that the idea of not putting pressure on him/pulling back will not improve things, and that you need to spell out your wants and needs( and I know you are a good speller).
I like your idea of trying the schedule idea and my Sat nite scheduled " date" nite has worked so well that I think I may discuss a 3x/week plan with my H. Right now the other 6 days of the week are up in the air with H determining which of those days we ML. I have noticed that the more I seem that I don't want anything happening, the more likely he will initiate. Because I don't want to be disappointed on a given nite, I don't do anything to support my sex drive( I know this isn't one of your issues) and it becomes harder to turn that around ( but I manage,lol). I will initiate every so often but not on a consistent basis since I am so bad with rejection.
BTW, I used to balk at the Sat nite thing-- I felt under the gun to feel aroused, and I thought spontaneous sex was more passionate. But I made it work for me. I found that the combo of a bath and wine helped to transition me sexually. Now I really love this ritual and I've learned scheduled sex does not mean boring sex ( H broke his toe on a scheduled nite)! I avoid the bath thing during the week bc it signals to H I may want to be sexual which in turn scares him off. How F**ked Up is that, but as you know,some of this is figuring out the psychology of it all.
Anyway, thanks for highlighting this topic and good job in rethinking past thoughts and going out of the box. And thanks to the NOPs for their insights- we are all in awe of your success.
