Quote: What 'inspires' you to grab some NOP and get things going. Really, im serious in asking. My LDW is definately the desire after arousal type. I have tried different ways to encourage desire-like behaviour with no sucess. Is loving and willing to please egnough to get things going until wanting kicks in?
I think a difficult thing to deal with is that to get to the oasis, you have to trudge through a lot of desert. I don't know what it's like for other folks/relationships. But NOP and I had a lot of relational crap that we had to deal with. I wouldn't have been inclined to cop a feel a year ago, because our relationship had become so strained.
It took willingness from both of us. It wasn't pretty at first and we had quite a few blow-ups and slip-ups during the process. It took *both* of us recognizing that we had a problem. It took *both* of us making efforts to change the dynamics. It took so many conversations (confrontations?) - not always pleasant, but almost always somewhat productive.
I don't know about marriages where the relationship is fine but the sex sucks or is non-existant. Because that's not in my point of reference. If you can't discuss sex, affection, snuggling, sleeping together, your longings and needs with your spouse, etc., then I don't see how you can really proceed into *doing* what you want if you can't even *discuss* what you want. I'm not saying that it is an even/or situation (talk or action) because we kept talking AND working on the sex issues at the same time.
Aargh. I think I've meandered.
What inspires me is that this is a man that loves me and whom I love. This is a man who has so many admirable traits yet who can and has admitted to his less than stellar attributes. Who has told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Who can manage to step back and regroup when things get heated. A man who works with me in my weaknesses and speaks to me of my strengths.
Out of all that easily comes expressions, both physical and emotional, of love. It has become natural for me to grab him when I walk by, touch him as he passes, and in general look him in the eye and let him know that I'm glad we're here - together.
