It's this sort of question that prompted my (okay, mean and ignorant) comment of a few weeks ago when I said LDs were lazy. I'm NOT saying it now... but, for example, with regard to showing affection... when your spouse/partner comes home from work, even if you don't FEEL like it, isn't it common sense and civility to exchange a hug and kiss? Or when you go to bed, to turn to each other for a few minutes and reconnect before going to sleep? Neither one of you has to be aching with desire... this is something you can do for your partner just because it's a nice thing to do.
HDSocal's question, "what inspires you?" is a good one, don't get me wrong, but why does the LD person (or the HD person) have to FEEL anything at the time... why can't they just notice, or observe, or conclude that their partner could use a hug or kiss right now? Why can't they just make it part of their routine without fuss or struggle because they know their partner likes affection and that it's good for the relationship? There's that Economy of Emotional Deprivation... why not be generous with something that costs you nothing? (Or do LDs perceive showing affection as costing them a lot?)
As far as feeling real sexual desire and making a sexual move-- that's something else (and probably what HDSocal was getting at), but plenty of people on this board remark that their LD spouse is short on expressing good old garden variety affection, too.
When my bf is engrossed in something and I come into the room or arrive home, he greets me, but it's no big deal. When I'm here and he comes in, I usually greet him at the door, not always because I FEEL like it, but because I know how good it feels to ME to be made to feel welcome and I do it for him. If he greeted me at the door occasionally and made me feel really welcome and like he was really glad to see me, I would float away from sheer happiness... in fact, even imagining it makes me feel like crying. (But then in the LL, I'm a gift person, and I guess I see this kind of greeting as a gift. He's an Acts of Service guy, and I suppose stopping what he is doing to get up and greet me has no productive value in his mind; it just distracts him from what he was doing.)
