HP, ouch, what a crummy weekend. I think I am starting to learn that I have to look for my W's desire. She doesn't make it obvious, but she's been making a concerted effort to initiate occasionally. I'm starting to recognize little things she does, and trying to accept that as some spark. I have to wonder if we are not being greedy looking for the hammer over the head desire because we've been too blind or whatever to see the more subtle signs. I can remember in college my fraternity brothers chiding me that I only wanted the women I couldn't get and that I couldn't recognize when there were women interested in me without getting hit over the head with a hammer...HARD. Gotta wonder if that isn't part of the problem today. Anyway, solidmech posted this today, and it kind of struck a chord with me:
"For many married people, married sex requires intent, it requires will, it requires a decision to be sexual, even when you don't feel like it. It doesn't happen spontaneously, or out of physical desire. Our expectation that it should may raise our hopes to the point where it prevents real closeness."
Guess what I'm saying is perhaps we need to take a step back, appreciate what we have so that we don't throw the baby out with the bath water. 'Course, it would help if our respective spouses would learn to carry a big hammer!
HP, I wish I could offer more words of advice. I know that you'll make it work though, you seem to be one of the more insightful folks here. I'm praying for you.
GGB, still waiting for his silver hammer to come down upon his head too.
