DBing is a lot like preaching the Gospels, there's a pretty good formula as to how one should live their life, but it sure is hard given our fallen nature.
Just by what you tell others shows that you are on the right path and have a good understanding of what you need to do. That's half the battle. But just as we know that God will forgive us if we fall short of the seemingly impossible standards Jesus articulated for us, you should be able to forgive yourself when you fall and understand that DBing and internal transformation is a lifetime and ongoing process.
For some of us, getting there is easy and requires only a little bit of mental discipline. On the other hand, some of us may struggle mightily to change a lifetime of habits. And even some more of us may require medical help because we have physically-generated weaknesses that trigger our worst impulses.
And unlike the Gospels and Faith which promises us the unseen reward of eternal life, unless it is truly for yourself, at the end of the day DBing may never reward us with the R we want with the person with us now. That makes it even tougher. Nonetheless, despite your recent backslides, I'll bet you see yourself doing things you never imagined possible just a few months ago. On that, I'm more than happy to be a barking seal. Just keep thinking and keep track of your "bad" triggers and think about ways to stop them. And in you can indulge me in a bit of evangilization, you may even want to ask God for his advice on what kinds of things can help!
