Thanks, H2H, Betsey, Anne, and welcome, Wendy! Thanks so much for your thoughtful responses and very kind words. I feel very looked after, thank you.

I am feeling shaky at the moment - S. has been busy preparing for a talk he is giving at out of town and I have been swirling thoughts through my head about the state of the R and what it is I want, exactly. Another MF last night (an old one, who has fancied me through the years - 14 of them, to be precise) was asking me some of these very same questions above and some I am asking myself, about compromise and how you know if someone is "right" for you. He and I have an understanding - we truly are good friends - and as long as I am happy he is happy for me. Really. So there was little if any ulterior motive there.

I am pretty contemplative these days and I think I'll take a break from posting on my own thread just to sort some things through. I'm so see-sawy right now that I'm not sure anything I wrote would be valid 5 minutes after I wrote it, and I'd rather hash some things out on paper for my eyes only. I'll come back when the storm has died down a little and I have a little more perspective.

On a happier note, tomorrow night I am going over to H2H's for a girlie slumber party a deux. I am really looking forward to some female company. S. comes back Friday, and so I am looking forward to a week of calm and All About Me. I have a lot of work to catch up on.

Another thing I'm planning is to join the Alliance Francaise - I am tired of not using my French and they have literature, philosophy, and current event classes in French, and philosophy discussion groups, social events, films, and a nice library.

S. and I picked up our tickets for Chile today. I'm not all that excited, and I'm not sure why. One thing is, I don't think I've ever planned a trip this far in advance (it's in January)! and it feels weird to me. I usually take off on a whim when I see a good fare bargain. So having to wait so long feels a little strange. I'm sure that once the holiday crush is over I will be very excited.

Thanks again, everyone, for your input. I think I'm at one of those places in DB life where I stop and take stock. Funny, the e-mail I posted above came when I was actually thinking a lot about these things already, so it acted as a catalyst for deeper thought. Now is as good a time as any, right?

shameless plug for my NEWEST thread