I had an e-mail from a DB buddy today that, in part, said the following. Does anybody have any thoughts on this? For the record, this person is a man.
I think these are important things to think about and you still have a long way to to go. While I really appreciate your insight on S's family and its impact on him, I don't think it should be an excuse for him not trying to satisfy your needs if he really cares about you.
In many respects, it seems that S does well when he is in control of the R, but has a really hard time when he does not dictate the terms. This doesn't mean he won't get there, but it appears there is still along way to go. The fact that he did not call you for an extended period after such a great weekend saddened me--because IMHO it shows that he is still trying to protect himself from getting too close. Perhaps he is gradually moving into his next phase of closesness, but he clearly is not there yet.
It seems like the two of you are still testing each other, and I guess from my own sitch, I'm so tired of the games and just wish a person could commit or not. I may just be projecting my sentiments onto your R, but you have needs to and at some point S has to be a willing partner in trying to meet those needs or else the two of you will end up on the R ash heap like the rest of us. At the same time, I remember that patience is a key, so as long as you feel you are seeing progress and can contribute to this through your actions, [good for you].
I wonder if I'm not being a little dense, and that he is being reticent about commitment and not treating me well. I admit I was disappointed at the not calling the day after we got back, but I chalked it up to the fact that we had that intimacy diffculty that morning and he was feeling a little distant.
I don't know. I'm a little confused. Any thoughts?
